Wednesday, August 3, 2022

How Many People Does It Take To Write A Song?

 For me, one is enough but apparently it takes 24 for a crappy piece of Pop.

"Diane Warren faced backlash on Twitter after questioning BeyoncĂ©’s songwriting credits on one of her new songs.

“How can there be 24 writers on one song?,” she tweeted, adding an eye-roll emoji.

The songwriter followed up her original tweet saying, “This isn’t meant as shade, I’m just curious.”

“Ok, it’s prob samples that add up the amount of writers,” Warren, who has written songs for artists from Cher to Celine Dion, continued.

While Warren, 65, didn’t specify BeyoncĂ©, 40, or her album by name, the Beyhive was quick to respond."

24 "song-writers".  If you threw 24 random food ingredients in the same pot and cooked it up to make one dish, chances are it would taste like shit.

The eye roll emoji was perfect too.  I tweeted "I wouldn't apologize to these Ding Dongs", as a sign of support.  I’m good like that.

But somehow, the lack of talent, where 24 people do the same "work" as 1 semi-talented person, turns into oppression:

“You mean how’s does our (Black) culture have so many writers, well it started because we couldn’t afford certain things starting out, so we started sampling and it became an Artform, a major part of the Black Culture (hip hop) in America. Had that era not happen who knows. U good?,” The-Dream tweeted.

I was going to look up The Dream but why?  He/she won't be around in another year and he/she couldn't even answer the question of why this song has 24 writers.  He/she turned it into imaginary oppression.  You know who couldn't afford certain things when starting out?  Everyone.  I had to get a day job to afford my gear.  Hell, sometimes I would even use gig money.

Something must have happened last night because I don't ever remember sampling ever being considered an artform.  Isn't Sampling like appropriating someone else's hard work?  Where's the art in being so lazy you can even deliver your own goods and then take pride in that?  I'll answer that question: Sampling is not an artform.  The Dream, if you don't want to work to pay for things, then shut that portable glory hole on your face.  U good?

Another fan wrote: “This is kind of a boring ass narrative at this point and it’s sad to see artists attempt to devalue one another."

What was the "boring ass narrative"?  That it takes 24 people to come up with a so-so song?  Here's a lesson on devaluing: 1 song, 1 song writer, one stream = $0.02 cents.  Take that .02 cents and divide it by (at least) 24, and not only will you see what each "songwriter" will receive, you'll get the actual value of that song.  Said song will be here and gone by the time school starts so don't spend it all in one place.

Ms Warren has wrote, or co-wrote, more real songs than an arena full of Hip Hop "writers" ever will so most of the criticisms are just out of jealousy.  Substituting the jealousy with the Oppression Card just shows how unaware some people are of themselves and the situation.  It's another reason why they'll never be a great.  But why try and be better when you already sabotaged yourself into thinking you can't?

Unfortunately, Ms Warren eventually apologised without having anything to apologise for.  I wouldn't apologise to those losers.  If they attained a level one could call an achievement, then what they say might be considered constructive criticism.  But it wasn't, it was just shallow insults. 

Everyone that threw in their misguided two cents owes Ms Warren an apology.

Monday, July 25, 2022

Raising Flag Awareness

Lots of causes are going around these days.  I see all of these unkempt protestors complaining about things that don't affect them directly and I see the lovely scowls on their faces and I think, "I want to be like that even though I'm happy to be on the planet, so I'll have to manufacture some kind of negativity".  I mean, who doesn't like to be associated with a noble cause when they're not noble themselves?  Benevolent by Proxy is what I want to be, just like a real activist.  You can see these types at Runs for Cancer; they want you to think they care about the cause but deep down, they only care about how they look to others.  It's empty but it still happens.

I want to be a part of a cause, any cause, but most importantly, one that gets its own flag.  Something eye-catching, yet can be overlaid over a social media profile pic.  And maybe a ribbon when those come back in style again.

There's already lots of different flags out there.  It's as if flags have been around for a while.  I had some good ideas but a lot have been used already and I'm not really into stealing someone else's design if I don't have to.  I like Science but was disheartened when my first idea for a flag, the light spectrum, was already taken.  I like the band Rainbow so I'm guessing that's a band flag originally created in the 70s when the band started.  I saw another light spectrum flag with an extra brown and black stripe added to it.  They say it's a "Trans flag" which oddly doesn't have any actual car colours in it.  That's stupid.  I wouldn't think the makers of the band Rainbow's flag would be happy to see their idea basically stolen and then have 2 neutral colours lazily added to it.  It's like when Katy Perry or Taylor Swift say they wrote a song but really only contributed a word or phrase to someone else's song and take the credit.

I see there's a flag with pale blue and pale pink stripes.  I had no idea they made a flag for expecting mothers for their baby rooms.  One was grey, white and green and I thought it's about time that licorice candies got their own flags.  I think the pink and black flag must be about licorice too.  Some people really like black licorice.  To each their own.

Some colours I won't use for my new flag, like brown.  It's the colour on Canadian cigarette packs and I'm always reminded of the person behind the counter painfully trying to find a particular brand of cigarettes since all of the packages look alike.  The Canadian Government sure hates convenience store clerks.  Also, brown reminds me of pooh, and I'm happy to say that part of my life is over.

When designing a flag, I'm finding objects don't work well on flags. Ideally, you'd want a Grade 2er to be able to draw the flag on the back of their school notebooks, so no objects except maybe a Jollyrancher skull.  Kids love drawing skulls, especially with a fire spitting cobra coming out of its mouth.  That would be a kick ass flag but would really be more appropriate on a t-shirt so it can go anywhere and reach more eyeballs.  Flags with tools on them should be avoided.  Really, what kind of dumbasses put tools on their flag?

I'm going to let everyone in on a little secret if you're looking to make a flag for your cause.  Go to It's where I went and I was totally inspired.  Try not to pay attention to the webpage examples because they're all pretty cringe, like the Fertility Tribe example.  Just pay attention to the right of the example for the colours scheme.

And I think I found it.  My new flag:

And everyone can make an exact replica since it includes the RGB colour codes.  If anyone from that website says I can't use their colour schemes, I will proceed to call them racists, misogynists and bigots, and that my lived experience trumps theirs.  Works every time.
It's the superficial things that matter the most these days and this new flag does it in spades.  I know earlier I mentioned that I'd figure out a cause after because I'm more interested in making a flag now but as I was drafting up this post, I was leaning towards this being a Check Your Social Justice Privilege flag.

Seriously, after all of this flag talk, I started to feel bad for all of the flags that have been misused and oppressed for some oppressive, phony cause they probably don't even agree with.  This has been going on for centuries.  These flags were never given a choice to pick their own colours, and flap proudly in the wind on a flag pole or their choice.  It's just all "shut up and fly".  But these aren't kites, or friends of kites, they're flags and flags deserve to be respected.  They're not towels to be used for some dumpy activist to wipe their sweat on.  They're flags.

This flag goes out to all of the oppressed flags in the world, the flags who are taken for granted on a daily basis.  This is a flag for all flags: small flags, big flags, checkered flags, red flags, golf green flags, air signal flags... All flags and I proudly stand with all flags.


As a side note, I am proud of Canada use of flags.  The Canadian flag was flown at half mast for most of 2021.  I believe that was in honour of Charlie Watts.  We'll miss you, Charlie.

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

It's Time To Grow Up

Kelowna man wants to bring back the Blockbuster Video experience from his basement

Other than being a fake news story (this isn't real news), the question I had after reading this was what happened to people?  Is it me or is everyone getting sadder and more pathetic?  A man's half-ambition makes a story.  I'm not jealous.  Well, a little.  Don't forget to listen/download to last year's all instrumental album Sinkhole here at BandCamp, or Spotify or Apple.

If your favourite job was working at BlockBuster, I feel sorry for you.  But not sorry enough to not pick on you.

"Nol Preen (see right) is channelling (sic) his love for movies and the defunct Blockbuster Video chain into a new DVD rental service operated from his home in Kelowna, B.C.  Preen is calling the venture "Blockbuster Part 2" and plans to launch in February with a collection of over 900 titles — all of which are stored in binders in his basement."

In the basement, eh?  That red flag should attract some red police car cherries by March.

I'll guarantee you he's a FaceBook user.  I had to dumb myself down to imagine how this would go but here's probably the conversation he had in his head: "I need money.  I could start a business; it's only $60 to buy a business name.  Let's see, there's nothing I'm really good at...  I know, I have all of these DVDs laying around; I should just make some money renting out my old DVD collection.  Even better, from my basement!"

He's got it all worked out: he can write-off a percentage of his living space; start up costs are zero since all of his movies are bought and paid for already.  He didn't even have to think to come up with a new business name, since he has that cleverly worded Blockbuster Part 2 all to himself.  Shit, he'll even review and rate the movie for you, just so you don't have to.  He sit can on his ass and just watch the money roll in on a conveyor belt.  Gravy.

Just don't tell him about this inconvenience:


I think the unauthorized distribution part might be a potential problem for him but I guess money's no object when you're renting out your old DVDs.  The income should easily offset the court costs and fines.

And running it out of his basement... I'm already dubbing this Blockbuster Part 2-Gate.  If his basement colour scheme is blue and yellow, then this could very well be the dumbest person I'll read about all year.

And he gets a story done about him.  WTF?

You know what a real person would do, especially one that's so passionate about working at a video rental store?  Rent a unit in a plaza and set up, wait for it, a store.  Holy shit.  People did the same sort of thing before Blockbuster got into the business.

Nol's apparently not the only loser though: "A St. John's, Nfld., man built a full-on replica of a Blockbuster in his basement, dubbing it Megahit Video."  Probably because BlockBuster Part 2 was already taken.  I shouldn't make fun of that guy.  It sounds like he actually built something, which is more than Nol could ever fathom, and built it just for fun and he's probably not illegally renting out movies like Nol is. 

Not that I want to promote laziness, but Life Hacker has a page full of stupid ideas like this:  Or, just as lazy but not as tacky:   

One idea was sell your art.  Take it from me, it doesn't pay.

Did I mention the latest album, Sinkhole, is available at BandCamp, or Spotify or Apple for a listen/download?