Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Cheque Isn't In The Mail

There was a time when I thought UPS were the ultimate in shitty service.  Example: leaving a $350 Beatles Vinyl boxset on the front porch of a fairly busy street.  But my Shitty Service Award (I just made that up for this entry) now goes to Canada Post.

Here's a little back-story:  I ordered a book off of Amazon.  Unfortunately, it goes through Canada Post.  Every day I get an update e-mail telling me what's going on with the parcel.  I get an e-mail saying it's been delivered.

So you'd think when a package has a status of "Delivered" it might actually be delivered.  So where is it?  That's right, it's been over a week now, coming up to 2 weeks and still nothing.

Grab a coffee for the next bit.

Since it's 2015, I figured I could resolve this whole matter by going online to their website, full of FAQs and Q&As and Knowledge Bases; it should be a website full of help.  Even better, they just revamped it.  Should be able to open a support ticket and everything should be cleared up.  This shouldn't take but 10 minutes.  I click the tracking link from one of my cornucopia of e-mails which brings me to a page telling me that my item has been Delivered. 


At the bottom of the page, I see a link for "What can I do if my package has a tracking number but wasn’t delivered?"

The answer for this Q & A is: "If a parcel or letter was sent by a service that can be tracked but has not been delivered by the expected due date, start by confirming the status of the package using Track."  That last Track is a link that brings me back to a page that lets me manually input the tracking number.  After putting in the tracking number, guess where I'm redirected?  Just guess.  Yup, a page saying my parcel has been Delivered.

Thanks, Canada Post, are you weaning me on the elimination of door-to-door service?

Now, if I go back to the "What can I do if my package has a tracking number but wasn’t delivered?" page, at the bottom is a "Do you still need help?" section.  Great because so far, yeah, I do.  I get to select if I'm the Receiver, put in my postal code, and my tracking number.  You can see where this is going...

I get a page that says "We are unable to proceed with your Service Ticket because our records indicate the item has been delivered".

What a garbage webpage.  Instead of getting angry at a shitty website that loops and loops and provides nothing you'd call a service, I think that I'd probably like to talk to someone.  There would have to be a support number listed somewhere on the website, right?  You'd think so.

I go to the bottom of the page.  There's a link for Contact Us.  I click that and now I'm brought to their Support page. 

Thanks.  I type in "phone" in the search box.  I get a Results page and the first thing I see is How To Contact Us.  Great.  There's even a kb in the link so I should get somewhere.

Here's the "knowledge base" page text:


General Inquires / General Information

How to contact us online or by phone

You can reach us on social media or by phone. In addition, you can fill out an online form to create a service ticket and report a problem. Due to a high volume of inquiries, we do not maintain an email address.

If you’re looking for information on a specific topic, you can find answers to many common questions in our Support section.

If you don’t find what you’re looking for, please contact us for further assistance.

•Contact our support team on Twitter or Facebook.

•Contact us by phone.

•Fill out a form to create a service ticket and report a problem.

So there's no actual phone number on the How To Contact Us page.  So I click the "contact us by phone" from the bullet list.  Which brings me right back to the goddamn Support page again.

Thanks, Canada Post.  All the good co-op students taken?

I called the local post office and they gave me the phone number to call Canada Post's call centre.  So far, that was the only thing that went right.  Then I talk to the girl who was very pleasant but tells me I have to contact the Seller and send the reference number to them, which I find a little silly because they should have that on record, as part of the tracking number, who the sender was.  But that's OK, Canada Post, I'll do the leg work for your screw up.

Thanks be to Jesus that it was only a $6 book but Canada Post is as smart as a glass of piss.  Why would this one mishap be such a big deal?  That's the fun part, this was my second time that this has happened to me. And I ain't special which means this probably happens all the time.

Thanks, Canada Post for being a total waste of time.  Maybe not hiring delivery drivers with dyslexia would be a good start.

You'd think for a failing company that they'd want to avoid things like these, because it doesn't rake in the profits.  Read their 5 Point Action Plan (; it's Canada Post's main objective.  When they state that "Future success will require a leaner workforce, more competitive wages and benefits and greater flexibility to offer customers the types of services they want and need", you know someone's in trouble.  Like people.


5 days after posting the above entry, guess what arrived?  My $6 book.  Guess who can't read it?   Me, since I already agreed to send it back because the seller already refunded my money.

Thanks, Canada Post, you useless tools.

**Another Update**
Apparently, I'm not the only one:

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