Let's Have A PETA-free Thanksgiving

I was going through the RSS Feeds and I saw this one: PETA hounds kids not to eat turkey.

It’s that time of year again: holiday cheer, turkey feasts – and PETA ads, making you feel guilty about the aforementioned feasts.

In an ad released Monday, PETA directs a question to kids: “If you wouldn’t eat your dog, why eat a turkey?” The ad features an expertly Photoshopped turkey-dog hybrid.

“Turkeys may not be as familiar to us as dogs or cats, but they have the same ability to suffer; they are sensitive, curious creatures, and it doesn't make sense to call dogs our friends and turkeys our food,” Ashley Byrne, PETA’s manager of campaigns, told TODAY.com. “There are a lot of kids out there who don’t want to see such cruelty on the Thanksgiving dinner table.”

But wait, that’s not all. In addition to these ads encouraging kids to go vegan, PETA also sent a letter Monday to the mayor of the tiny town of Turkey, Texas (population 421 in the 2010 census), asking him to change the town’s name to “Tofurky” for Thanksgiving Day. In exchange, PETA promises to provide a “healthy, vegan holiday feast for all the town’s residents.”

The letter goes on to explain the horrors faced by farm-raised turkeys, and ends trying to whet the mayor’s appetite by describing the Tofurky meal in great detail:
“PETA's feast would feature Tofurky with mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes (made with vegan margarine), and vegan apple pie topped with vanilla dairy-free ice cream.”

Byrne said the mayor hasn't responded to the invitation, but points out: “There's still some time until Thanksgiving.” She added that she hopes it will encourage some residents of the mostly meat-loving state to go vegan for one of the most meat-filled holidays.

OK, so here's the obvious: Ashley's an airhead.  For starters, why would someone try and compare a turkey with a dog?  Can turkeys be domesticated? Nope.  If they could be, we'd all have to eat chicken.

Me, I love turkey.  For one thing, it's tasty, and another reason I love turkey is it's good for you.  It's low fat (I don't really care about that one), it has zinc and potassium that keep blood cholesterol levels down and it even boosts the immune system.  Not bad for something that's only raised for eating.  Turkey should really replace chicken.

I'd love to see a poll of how many people in PETA have ever lived on a farm.  Probably not-many to none.  "Farm raised" turkeys (I'm hoping that means the same as free range turkeys) are treated a lot better than their over-cornfed counterparts.  But the thing is, turkeys have always been bread to be eaten.  That's their purpose.  They don't have any other meaningful function other than being tasty and being healthy to eat.  Turkeys don't know the "horrors" - they only have simple consciousness at best.

It really bothers me that people are so self-centred that they'd think you'd change your habits for them because they think they're morally correct.  Does Ashley think that she'll get a town to change its name for a day and expect 400 people to eat Tofu?  She might want to give her head a shake...and let some air out of it because, really, who the hell genuinely likes tofu?

So, Ashley, enjoy your kelp and tofu dairy-free Thanksgiving dinner.  Me, even though I had Thanksgiving already, will be heading to Subway for a 12" turkey sub next week.

And it's going to be so good.